Helicopter parents have a tendency to hover. And hover, and hover. Here are 6 professional tips from David Prior of Sunrise RTC to avoid this recent phenomenon.
1. Recognize your over-involvement in the lives of others. This may need to be pointed out by others, so you’ll need to be open to feedback!
2. Avoid interpreting critical feedback as a failure on your part. This is a common emotional reaction among those prone to enmeshment, and it doesn’t help!
3. Sit with your own emotions without blaming others for them or turning to someone else to fix them.
4. Avoid “misappropriation of emotions.” In other words, resist your tendency to take on emotions that are not your own. Similarly, resist your tendency to place your own emotions on others.
5. Allow yourself to experience your own successes and failures, and let others do the same. When others succeed celebrate that success without taking credit (even in your own mind). When they fail, be there to support them without taking responsibility for the fix.
6. Communicate to your child (or any other person with whom you are enmeshed) that you are confident they can work through their own struggles. Communicating this non-verbally is much more important than doing it verbally. This concept fits very well with parenting and should help break patterns of helicopter parenting.
If you recognize that are in an enmeshed or helicopter relationship and desire to change, congratulations! Acknowledging this kind of problem is an important step toward healing. I do recommend seeking the support of a professional psychotherapist to help you implement the above tips and successfully navigate the process of change.
