How To Look Like You're Doing Work (When You're Actually Not)

Nobody wants to be perceived as lazy. Laziness is almost universally socially and spiritually frowned upon. However, being laborious and hard-working isn't always nirvana either. The key to contentment, then, is to LOOK like you’re industrious. This way, you can get away with not doing work while still maintaining a façade of efficiency that would make 19th century industrialists proud.

The key to doing this is simple: you just need to keep moving around quickly. That’s all. Whenever there’s work that needs to be done among a group of people, you just need to have a determined look on your face and walk with a brisk pace that says “I’m in a hurry and your business needs to wait.” People won’t bother you if they see you’re in a hurry, especially if they’re trying to get work done. Just move determinedly from room to room, pausing occasionally to look for something that doesn’t exist – this will complete the illusion.

Be careful, though, for there are some factors that could cripple this strategy if you let them. For one, never stop in a room where more than a couple people are stationary. These people have more time to focus on your ruse, and if they see that you’re just moving around aimlessly, they will call you out and make you do more work. Instead, only go to areas with a lot of activity so that you can blend in.

Another thing you need to monitor is your walking pattern. Never walk the same path twice until you’ve walked all other possible routes. Going along the same pathways will alert people working in those areas to your deception very quickly. You need to remain a fresh and dynamic presence, always going to different areas, as though you’re performing a variety of tasks. If the choice of pathways is limited, simply increase the amount of times that you stop to look around for something. If you need to, invent low-stress tasks for yourself in different areas, such as singing the chorus of a song in your head as you look.

If you follow the simple rule of “stay mobile” and keep aware of your surroundings, you can get away with looking like the most hard-working person around while not having to do anything. Keep in mind that it may prove to be challenging to pull off this ploy in certain situations, and that’s to be expected when dealing with people who shun the lazy. How dare they? Everyone knows that being lazy takes a lot of work.